“Improving Work/Life Balance..."!!!

Most people don't know how to balance work in relationship to other areas of their life, often described as work/life balance. Hectic work schedules, increased responsibility, new technology, and the need to read and respond to growing quantities of email and voicemail are just some of the things that place huge demands on your work life. This pressure may cause you to feel as if your work is a prison that you can never escape as more and more keep coming to you. Many of us work in environments that have management's hands-on involvement. Work comes from a lot of different sources and you might be supporting many different people. You're pulled in various directions without knowing why or understanding how to cope with expectations from multiple people. It's a lot to handle and makes a work/life balance seem unattainable.

Whether you've been promoted or are just trying to cope with the relentless pressures of the modern work environment, learning new ways to handle it all will help you achieve that important balance. The place to start is with yourself and the way you think about the demands on you.

Below are four ideas for bringing your work and life into balance by changing your attitudes about what you can, and should, accomplish at work: -

# Do Not Please Everyone

The underlying goal of many executives is to please everyone in an effort to be perceived as doing a good job. This desire, along with over-compensation, causes you to be ineffective in work/life balance and managing your time effectively. People who are really good at pleasing everyone don't say no to anything being given to them. They don't want to be critical or to challenge a paradigm that is being presented by either a boss or superior. What happens is that they become stuck in a place where they say yes to everything without giving consideration to what is most important or what is the best use of their time.

If you try to please everyone, the one person who doesn't get pleased is you! You can't be placed second while someone else at work is always placed first. Instead, take care of yourself first and foremost.


# Be True to Yourself

One cannot significantly impact a business if he/she does not have a solid understanding of that business. This involves having a good grasp of what your organization does (e.g. the key success indicators, pricing and marketing strategies, who your customers and competitors are, what differentiates your product from those of your competitors, etc.) as well as having a keen understanding of the company's key financial data. This knowledge allows HR professionals to give advice and make decisions from a Knowledge base that views the business in the proper context.


# Set High Boundaries

In order to set high boundaries, you need to know what you are willing to say "Yes" to and what you are willing to say "No" to in the areas of work/life balance. For example, have you set boundaries that you will never work through lunch, not work past a certain time, not get to the office before a certain time, and take time for lunch every day? Do you know what your boundaries are so that when you get a huge project, you won't allow your boundaries to evaporate because of the demands of the project? Setting boundaries will help you have a work/life balance that provides you enjoyment, peace, and fulfillment in all aspects of your life.

When you feel a great amount of stress and burden from the demands of your work, it's almost impossible to make time for what you most need or want in your life. This is why having and setting boundaries is so vitally important. If you keep your boundaries strong, they will protect you and take care of you no matter how difficult, troubling, or challenging your work can become.


# Set Realistic and Lower Expectations with Yourself

Set realistic expectations with yourself that allow for under promising. What is under promising? It's allowing yourself to do less than you think you can do. If you think it will take 1.5 hours to do something, give yourself two. Do the following: -

Step 1. Give yourself increased time frames to get things done.
Step 2. Increase the amount of gentleness and compassion you have for how much you need to get things done.
Step 3. Decrease your expectations of yourself so you have more room to fail and more room to succeed.

You'll be less inclined to beat yourself up when you have under promising expectations. Most people say they under promise, but do exactly the opposite by giving themselves very high expectations.
For example, if they think they have an hour to get something done, they give themselves 40 minutes. This puts extra pressure on them.


Practice these four suggestions and you'll soon see a decrease in your stress level and an increase in the quality of your work/life.

"Shake off and Step Up"!!!

Sooner or later, everyone you know will disappoint you in some way. They'll say something or fail to say something that will hurt you. And they'll do something or fail to do something that will anger you. It's inevitable.Unfortunately, you make things worse when you stew over someone's words and deeds. When you dwell on a rude remark or an insensitive action made by another person, you're headed for deeper problems. In fact, the more you dwell on these things, the more bitter you'll get. You'll find your joy, peace and happiness slipping away. And you'll find your productivity slowing down as you spend more and more time thinking about the slight or telling others about it. Eventually, if you don't stop doing it, you'll even get sick.

So what should you do the next time someone betrays you? TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS. Even though the other person may be at fault, even though the other person wronged you, you are still responsible for your own feelings. In other words, other people do not "cause" your feelings. You choose them. For example, two different people could be told that their suggestions made at the staff meeting were "stupid and idiotic." One person may "choose" to feel so hurt that he never speaks up at any other meeting again. The other person may "choose" to feel sorry for the critic, sorry that the critic couldn't see the wisdom and necessity of her suggestions.

As long as you blame other people for your feelings, as long as you believe other people caused your feelings, you're stuck. You're a helpless victim. But if you recognize the fact that you choose your feelings and you are responsible for your feelings, there's hope. You can take some time to think about our feelings. And you can decide what is the best thing to say or do. Then, you've got to learn to WALK AWAY FROM DISAPPOINTMENT.

It's difficult to do, but it's possible. The famous 19th century Scottish historian, Thomas Carlyle, proved that. After working on his multi-volume set of books on "The French Revolution" for six years, Carlyle completed the manuscript and took volume one to his friend John Stuart Mill. He asked Mill to read it. Five days later, Mill's maid accidentally threw the manuscript into the fire. In agony, Mill went to Carlyle's house to tell him that his work had been destroyed. Carlyle did not flinch. With a smile, he said, "That's all right, Mill. These things happen. It is a part of life. I will start over. I can remember most of it, I am sure. Don't worry. It's all here in my mind. Go, my friend! Do not feel bad."

As Mill left, Carlyle watched him from the window. Carlyle turned to his wife and said, "I did not want him to see how crushed I am by this misfortune." And with a heavy sigh, he added, "Well the manuscript is gone, so I had better start writing again." Carlyle finally completed the work, which ranks as one of the great classics of all time. He had learned to walk away from his disappointment. After all, what could Carlyle have done about his burnt manuscript? Nothing. Nothing would have resurrected the manuscript. All Carlyle could do was to get bitter or get started.

And what can you do about anything once it is over? Not much. You can try to correct it if it is possible, or you can walk away from it if it isn't. Those are your only two choices.

Sometimes you've just got to shake it off and step up (pun intended!!??? may be). It's like the farmer who had an old mule who fell into a deep dry well. As he assessed the situation, he knew it would be difficult, if not impossible, to lift the heavy mule out of the deep well. So the farmer decided to bury the mule in the well. After all, the mule was old and the well was dry, so he could solve two problems at once. He could put the old mule out of his misery and have his well filled. The farmer asked his neighbors to help him with the shoveling. To work they went. As they threw shovel-full of dirt after shovel-full of dirt on the mule's back, the mule became frightened. Then all of a sudden an idea came to the mule. Each time they would throw a shovel-full of dirt on his back, he would shake it off and step up. Shovel-full after shovel-full, the mule would shake it off and step up. In not too long a time, the exhausted and dirty mule stepped over the top of the well and through the crowd. That's the same approach we all need to take. We need to shake it off and step up.

Finally, you need to FORGIVE. It's difficult, especially when the other person doesn't deserve your forgiveness or doesn't even seek it. It's difficult when the other person is clearly in the wrong. Part of the difficulty comes from a common misunderstanding of forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person's behavior is okay. And forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person is off the hook. He's still responsible for his misbehavior. Forgiveness is about letting yourself off the emotional hook. It's about releasing your negative emotions, attitudes, and behaviors. It's about letting go of the past so you can go forward to the future.

Everyone in your life, everyone on and off the job is going to disappoint you. If you know how to respond to those situations, you'll be way ahead of most people. You'll be able to live above and beyond your circumstances.

Action: Identify two people that have disappointed, hurt, or angered you. If possible, select two people towards whom you still have some bitterness. Then ask yourself, "How does my bitterness serve me? Am I happier holding on to it? Do I sleep better? Is my life richer, fuller, and better because of my bitterness?" if you find that your bitterness is hurting you, make a decision. Actually decide to let it go.

Walk away from the disappointment - which means you no longer dwell on it or talk about it. Shake off and Step Up!

"Be Positive - Always"!!!

Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs, who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants.

The race began....

Honestly: No one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.

You heard statements such as:

"Oh, WAY too difficult!!"

"They will NEVER make it to the top."

"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"

The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one....

Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher.

The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up. But ONE continued higher and higher and higher.

This one wouldn't give up!

At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog that, after a big effort, was the only one that reached the top!

THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?

A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal?

It turned out....

That the winner was DEAF!!!!

The wisdom of this story is:

Never listen to Nay Sayers, because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you - the ones you have in your heart!

Always think of the power words have. Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!

Therefore: ALWAYS be....POSITIVE!

And above all:

Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams!

Always think: I can do this!

"Don’t be aggressive with your Friends and Family"!!!

The following article is an excerpt from “The 100 simple secrets of Happy People” by David Niven Ph.D. The entry contains a key research finding, complemented by advice and an example that follow from the finding. Its a wonderful read.
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Even if you are right, there is nothing to be gained from letting yourself become adversarial with your loved ones. Remember how much more important these people are to you than is the issue you are talking about.

It would be great to always be right, wouldn’t it?

Adam is always right. At least, he thinks so. Whether it’s a matter of a trivia question or the best way to hang wallpaper, Adam knows the answer. When his family challenges him on some point, any point, Adam launches an inquest. He asks people to tell him why they disagree, and then he tries to catch them in an inconsistency. His follow-up questions are like those used by a lawyer trying to get an unreliable witness to admit his faults.

Adam always wins. He almost always gets a concession from the witness. The problem is, Adam’s witness is not a criminal in a courtroom but a friend or loved one who holds a different opinion. Some of his friends have concluded it’s just not worth disagreeing with Adam, and others have concluded it’s not even worth talking to Adam, since you never know when a topic will lead to a controversy. Adam wins all the little battles, but he loses the metaphorical war. He loses the opportunity to spend enjoyable time with those he cares about.

Prevalent criticism within relationships reduces happiness up to one-third. – O’Conner 1995.

In an Argument, it is better to lose the argument than to lose a loved one...

"Strike it Hot; Strike it Right"!!!

Ever heard the story of the giant ship engine that failed? The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!


A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.


"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"


So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."


The man sent a bill that read:


Tapping with a hammer ........................ $ 2.00

Knowing where to tap ......................... $ 9998.00



Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference…

"The 90/10 Principle"!!!

This article, "The 90/10 Principle", an excerpt from the works of Stephen Covey.
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Have you read this before? Discover the 90/10 Principle.

It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations). What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%.

The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react.You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work.You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing Rs. 200/- traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is "D".

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.


Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED/RESPONDED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your action. Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.

If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive? Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse. Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it.

The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It CAN change your life!!!

"Belief...”!!!

Mr. Akio Morita is the co-founder of Sony Corporation and an unbelievably brilliant man. The destiny of Sony, just like any individual's is the result of a series of decisions. In his book, Made in Japan, Morita discloses that one of the toughest and most important decisions he ever made was to turn down an offer from Bulova Corporation to purchase 100,000 of his breakthrough transistor radios - at a time when his company was not even moving 10,000 units a month. The amount of money they offered was enormous and was ten times what his company was worth at the time, yet after deep consideration Morita rejected the deal.

Why? Simply because Bulova wanted to put their own name on the radio.

He realized that while in the short term saying yes would give his company a huge jump, he would be building Bulova's name instead of Sony's. The Bulova executives could not believe he would turn down their offer. He told them, “Fifty years from now, my company's name will be as big as yours and I know that the radio we’ve created is going to help us develop that name”.

Of course, all of Morita's partners thought that he was crazy .How was he able to create this sense of certainty that enabled him to turn down such an enticing and profitable offer? He vividly imagined the future of his company, and created references where none existed. He directed his focus and envisioned his goals with clarity, and then blocked it up with absolute and active faith.

Today Sony Corporation is not only a leader in the electronics industry, generating over $70billion a year, but has also diversified to industries as far reaching as film making and music and is renowned for its quality around the World.

Remember, don't drive into the past using your rear view mirror as guide. You have to learn from your past, not live in it - focus on the things that empower you.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge.

"A Paradigm Shift...”!!!

One evening a scholar was addressing the participants on the concept of work culture. One of the participants asked the following question:

"I am a senior manager of Materials Department and I joined an organization 25 years ago as an Engineer Trainee and over the last 25 years I have gone through every experience in the organization.

During the initial part of my career, the job was very challenging and interesting. However, all those exciting days are gone since I do not find my joy any more interesting because there is nothing new in my job. I am now feeling bored because I am doing a routine job.

However, Sir, I am living in the same house for over forty years, I am the son for the same parents for over forty five years, I am the father for the same children for the past ten years and the husband for the same lady for the past twenty years !( the toughest job!)

In these personal roles I do not feel bored Please tell me why I am bored of the routine in the office and not in the house?"

The response from Scholar was very interesting and convincing. He asked the executive the question:

"Please tell me for whom does your Mother cook?"

The executive replied that obviously the mother cooks for others.

Then the Scholar said that the mother "Serves" others and because of this service mindedness, she is not feeling tired or bored. But in an office, we "Work" and not "Serve". Anything we consider, as service will not make us feel bored. That is difference between Serving and Working.

He asked the executive to consider his work as service and not merely a work!! This was a very interesting analysis!! Whenever you put a larger context around your work and see a broader meaning for your work, you will take interest in your work and it will make a very big difference in your internal energy.


Finally, it is the Attitude that Matters!!!

If you think you are working for the organization you will get frustrated. If you feel you are doing a service and getting some service charges you will feel happy.

After all, Doing what you like is Freedom, While Liking what you do is Happiness!

It is just a paradigm shift that is required!

Put a shark in your tank and then see how far you can go...”!!!

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades. So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish. If the return trip took more than a few days, the fish were not fresh. The Japanese did not like the taste.

To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer. However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen and they did not like frozen fish. The frozen fish brought lower price.

So fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little thrashing around, the fish stopped moving. They were tired and dull, but alive.

Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste the difference. Because the fish did not move for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste. The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish. So how did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem? How do they manage to get fresh-tasting fish to Japan?

To keep the fish tasting fresh, Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks. But now they add a small shark to each tank. The shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively state. The fish are challenged.

As soon as you reach your goals, such as finding a wonderful mate, starting a successful company, paying off your debts or whatever, you might lose your passion. You don't need to work so hard so you relax.

Like the Japanese fish problem, the best solution is simple. L. Ron Hubbard observed it in the early 1950's. "Man thrives, oddly enough, only in the presence of a challenging environment."

The Benefits of a Challenge:
The more intelligent, persistent and competent you are, the more you enjoy a good problem. If your challenges are the correct size, and if you are steadily conquering those challenges, you are happy. You think of your challenges and get energized. You are excited to try new solutions. You have fun. You are alive!

Recommendations:
Instead of avoiding challenges jump into them. Beat the heck out of them. Enjoy the game. If your challenges are too large or too numerous, do not give up. Failing makes you tired. Instead, reorganize. Find more determination, more knowledge, more help.

Don't create success and lie in it. You have resources, skills and abilities to make a difference. Put a shark in your tank and see how far you can really go!

Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.